Anxiety has lost me 2 days work in the last 5 days…

First of all I meant to post mid-week last week but I just didn’t have the motivation for writing so I kept putting it off and before I knew it, it was Sunday, so I just left it till today.

So on Thursday afternoon last week I went into work in my usual department, only to be told I had to go to a different one, now for someone without anxiety that would be fine… But not for me. Put me in a different environment that I’m not used to and I can’t stand it.

I tried to explain how my anxiety was stopping me working in a different department but the lady from the agency was having none of it, but then her English isn’t great so that made it even harder to explain. In the end I had to come home because I couldn’t work where they wanted me to and they had no work for me in my usual place. It’s no secret that I don’t like my job so it’s not like I was disappointed that I had to come home, but considering that after this week I have no work until the Summer I could have done with the money…

The same thing happened again today: I got up at 5am, went to work in my usual department – which is where I’d been told I’d be via text on Saturday morning – but they wanted me to go to a different one… I tried to explain again, but she was insistent that it was either the other department or I go home, so I came home…

People who don’t suffer with anxiety or know anyone that suffers with it just don’t seem to understand that if I say I can’t do something because of it then it really does mean I can’t do it. The last time I had to work in a different department I couldn’t even make it through the whole day; my heart wouldn’t slow down, I got a migraine and I felt sick. I’m not putting myself through that if I don’t have to. My mental health has to come first but some people just seem like they don’t believe me and I hate it.

Kimberley

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